#013 It's Time to Tear up Your Cool Card
- By Erin Cobb
- •
- 28 Dec, 2017
In Episode #013 I talk about the process of tearing up your cool card, that is, the ego and identity you've given yourself. The story you tell yourself about who you are based on your past or who you think you need to be based on your current situation. The truth is, we aren't our past, we aren't our stories. You are under no obligation to be the person you were 5 minutes ago. It's time to let go of the person we were to become who we will be. It's time to wake up.
“The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it. In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also not given a fuck about many people and many things. And like the road not taken, it was the fucks not given that made all the difference.”
-Mark Manson
Show Notes:
In your wallet you carry around a card. It is your need for belongingness and love. I call it your cool card. It is a representation of the Ego-identity you've given yourself. Who you want people to think you are. This Ego-construct prevents us from really connecting with each other and embracing our authentic selves. You are under no obligation to be the person you were 5 minutes ago. The coolest thing you can do is to be yourself. Authenticity is sexy. So...stop trying to be cool and embrace who you really are. Tear up your cool card.
Ice Tea on “Fuck it”
Ice Tea in his own words, Fuck it!
"I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy." - Tucker Max (Usually I'm not a fan of his writing but this quote is solid)
No one who has ever done anything great, has let what other people think stop them.
"I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy." - Tucker Max (Usually I'm not a fan of his writing but this quote is solid)
No one who has ever done anything great, has let what other people think stop them.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.
The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.
(Remember, you are under NO OBLIGATION to be the person you were 10 minutes ago- Alan Watts)
Stop giving a fuck what other people think.
Society teaches us to give a fuck about WAY too many things, how nice our TV is, what kind of car we drive etc. We compare ourselves to our peers relentlessly and the only ones who win are the marketers (by selling us more stuff).
Happiness comes from solving problems.
Stop expecting a problem free life or worrying about the future, Just solve problems as they arise.
There is value in suffering. Stop trying to be experiencing pleasure in every moment.
Not Giving a Fuck does not mean being indifferent; It means being comfortable with being different.
Use your pain as a tool.
Don't avoid it.
(Remember, you are under NO OBLIGATION to be the person you were 10 minutes ago- Alan Watts)
Stop giving a fuck what other people think.
Society teaches us to give a fuck about WAY too many things, how nice our TV is, what kind of car we drive etc. We compare ourselves to our peers relentlessly and the only ones who win are the marketers (by selling us more stuff).
Happiness comes from solving problems.
Stop expecting a problem free life or worrying about the future, Just solve problems as they arise.
There is value in suffering. Stop trying to be experiencing pleasure in every moment.
Not Giving a Fuck does not mean being indifferent; It means being comfortable with being different.
Use your pain as a tool.
Don't avoid it.
Accept Yourself Unconditionally and Live Authentically
Say Yes to the moment and everything in your experience
Radical Acceptance - Embracing Your Life with the Heart of the Buddha
Take responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life.
It may not have been your FAULT. But repairing the damage and moving on is your responsibility alone.
Make Commitments
I've always had a deep fear of commitments because I felt they would take away my freedom (which was my #1 value for a long time). In reality, commitments can free you to push things to a new depth by focusing your energies.
You are the architect of your own beliefs
and those beliefs will control your life.
Radical Acceptance - Embracing Your Life with the Heart of the Buddha
Take responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life.
It may not have been your FAULT. But repairing the damage and moving on is your responsibility alone.
Make Commitments
I've always had a deep fear of commitments because I felt they would take away my freedom (which was my #1 value for a long time). In reality, commitments can free you to push things to a new depth by focusing your energies.
You are the architect of your own beliefs
and those beliefs will control your life.
Rookie Mistake #1: Compromising the truth to please others.
- Your Truth is your Power
- Never Compromise your Truth Just to Please Somebody (You will BOTH feel your inauthenticity)
- Let Your Soul Burn with the Fire of a Thousand Suns
Sources:
- Ice T on "Fuck it"
- Radical Acceptance Embracing Your Life with the Heart of the Buddha -Tara Brach PhD
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck - Mark Manson
Remember: I don't have all the answers, I'm not a guru. Just a companion on the path.
What should I talk about next? Please let me know in the comments below.
Did you enjoy this episode? If so, please leave a short review.
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